Full Course Description


The Mystery of Eroticism

Program Information

Objectives

  1. Integrate clinical techniques that can help reinforce healthy relationships in clients.

Outline

Discover how to:

  • Create evocative conversations that help partners reconnect with their sexual selves and enhance their shared sense of erotic adventure
  • Shift the emphasis from sex as a thing to do to a place that serves as a source of creativity, renewal and personal growth
  • Integrate simple techniques about giving and receiving pleasure that can rekindle erotic excitement in long-term relationships
  • Identify and address erotic blocks-internal and relational-that are the results of conflicts between relational needs for predictability and safety vs. needs for freedom and individual fulfillment

Copyright : 10/30/2015

The Dance of Sex

Objectives

  1. Explain why creating a sense of safety is a key component of Emotionally Focused Therapy

Outline

  • Turn down the emotional threat in a relationship so partners can reach for each other emotionally and physically
  • Help clients transform painful moments of disconnection to starting points for restoring intimacy, emotional and sexual, in their relationship
  • Coach partners in creating bonding moments that increase empathy, and open them to being fully available to each other
  • Strengthen secure attachment between partners so they feel free to take more risks in exploring their sexuality with each other
Copyright : 11/16/2015

RX for the Sex-Starved Marriage

Objectives

  1. Identify one way for a low-desire partner to have empathy for their high-desire partner

Outline

  • Learn how to recognize signs of the desire gap and explore the issue directly and early in therapy
  • Provide a method for helping the high desire spouse share feelings of hurt and rejection while guiding the low-desire spouse to empathically listen to the deeper needs of their partner
  • Introduce couples to the 5 Love Languages to help them step outside their personal comfort zones for giving and receiving affection and validation
  • Bypass longstanding problems with low desire by adopting  the action-oriented Nike philosophy—Just Do It
Copyright : 10/29/2015

The Case for Porn

Objectives

  1. Explain how to guide couples through their “sex script”

Outline

  • The difference between porn “addiction” and the habits of high libido porn users
  • How to address the shame and secrecy that is the most common problem with couples and porn
  • How to guide couples through a “sex script” that can help them explore new sexual territory with each other
  • How porn can play a useful role in helping couples in long-term relationships expand and heighten their shared erotic life
Copyright : 11/14/2015

Transforming Sexual Narratives

Objectives

  1. Explain the importance of taking a client’s sexual narrative as one of the first steps in therapy

Outline

  • The importance of educating couples about willingness—not desire—as the necessary first step in a satisfying sexual relationship
  • How to use sexual history taking to help clients understand their current sexual issues in the wider context of their ongoing sexual narrative
  • The process for helping a couple create a shared erotic menu that can bring more variety, acceptance, and playfulness to their sexual exploration
  • How the technique of mindful sensate focus can free partners to explore new pathways to more embodied pleasure with each other


 

Copyright : 11/05/2015

Fast Sex, Slow Love: New Pathways to Commitment

Objectives

  1. Describe three ways that a couple can promote attachment, as measurable through brain science

Outline

  • What research is showing about the impact of alternatives to traditional rituals of dating and mating-- including online dating, sexting, and hooking up--on what people are looking for in relationship today
  • How to see the latest forms of sexual experimentation as pathways to committed relationships shaped by caution, time and energy constraints, and fear of divorce
  • How the latest findings in brain science can illuminate the interplay among   the three components of love—sex drive, romance, and deep attachment
  • Exploration of the many cultural factors shaping new patterns of sexual behavior including the divorce revolution, changing attitudes towards work and career, and the new financial pressures many young people face today


 

Copyright : 11/14/2015

BONUS: The New Rules of Love: How Couples Are Reinventing Marriage

Explore the cultural shifts that are shaping relationships today and master new approaches for working effectively with contemporary couples. You’ll learn:

  • How different generations view couplehood, divorce, and traditional marriage
  • About the search for a more differentiated identity within intimate partnership and the advent of the "capstone marriage"
  • Strategies to help couples bring more spontaneity, playfulness, and eroticism into their relationship
  • How to help couples honor relationships even when they’re ending
  • Why creating multiple attachments is a key ingredient in successful marriages

OBJECTIVES

  • Explain the premise of today’s “capstone marriage” and how it differs from marriage arrangements in previous generations.

OUTLINE

  • Explain the premise of today’s “capstone marriage” and how it differs from marriage arrangements in previous generations.
    • Partners enter relationships as self-sufficient and with their own fully-formed identities Partners’ pre-formed identities are harmonious, but still differentiated
    • In traditional marriage, partners pursued goals together, without having arrived at a state of self-sufficiency
    • Partners used to get married earlier in life; with the capstone marriage, they’re waiting
  • Discuss the new divorce rate trends in the Boomer generation.
    • Partners used to date because they were unhappy; today, they divorce because they feel they could be happier
    • Partners consider divorce when their needs are not being met, approaching relationships as a costs vs. benefits scenario
    • Divorce is a more acceptable concept for Boomers today than a decade ago. One-third of Boomers are either now divorced, widowed, or never married
    • Boomers don’t consider age a hindrance to divorce. Even as seniors, they see purpose in divorce
  • Identify why community networks are important to the health and survival of relationships.
  • In gay and lesbian relationships, mother or father figures are brought in where there wasn’t one previously (for instance, two gay men may have an aunt fulfill a motherly role)
  • Communities can give a relationship structural support. Rural areas experience a higher divorce rate than more heavily populated ones.
  • People have a need to develop platonic attachments to others in order to find overall satisfaction in their social life
  • Putting emphasis on one person as an outlet for social fulfillment can drain a relationship
Copyright : 07/29/2014

BONUS: The Monogamy Continuum

Learn guidelines for helping couples understand, define, and negotiate the personal boundaries of fidelity and betrayal. We’ll explore how to:

  • Distinguish between implicit and explicit agreements about fidelity
  • Negotiate clear rules for porn, use of social media, and nonsexual but intimate relationships (i.e., "emotional affairs")
  • Understand the issues that can arise when working with nontraditional couples, such as those in open and polyamorous relationships
  • Distinguish the role of privacy vs. secrecy in relationships
  • Help clients end affairs with mutual respect and integrity

OBJECTIVES

  1. Describe the difference between explicit and implicit monogamy, and why it’s important that partners discuss their definitions of monogamy with each other.

OUTLINE

  • Describe the difference between explicit and implicit monogamy, and why it’s important that partners discuss their definitions of monogamy with each other.
    • Explicit monogamy is defined as the sort of promises that a couple made at the alter under the guises of what their religion, culture, parents, or community says
    • Implicit monogamy is the assumption about how couples actually define monogamy in practice
    • It is important for partners to discuss their definitions of monogamy together so that future problems can be prevented and to keep intimate communication going
    • Partners should discuss their definitions of monogamy to work together to create healthy boundaries for their thoughts and behaviors
  • Identify the three traits that are characteristic of infidelity.
    • There is a relationship occurring outside of the marriage
    • There is a different kind of sexual experience than typically occurs within the marriage
    • There is dishonesty between partners
  • Discuss the concept of “split parts” in men and explain how integrating these parts can be beneficial to their relationships.
    • Men should bring the many aspects of their life-work, romantic, and fantasy included-into conversations with their partner
    • Men have a tendency to compartmentalize aspects of their life
    • Men will often feel relieved to know a safe space has been established where they can address topics they were initially afraid to share
    • A man’s partner can be a more informed ally in helping the man work toward goals and through problems and insecurities when integration is achieved
Copyright : 08/08/2014

BONUS: The Crisis of Trust in Today’s Couples

Join two of couples therapy’s leading researchers and practitioners in exploring how the latest research evidence can guide us in both understanding shifting relationship patterns and designing effective couples interventions. They’ll consider issues like:

  • What the empirical evidence tells us about the keys to relationship satisfaction, the role of conflict resolution in successful marriages and the biology of intimacy
  • How to understand such varied phenomena as the hook-up culture, polyamory, the dynamics of infidelity and the changing attitudes of millennial couples to divorce and commitment
  • The importance of assessment in good couples therapy
  • How to teach the basic skills and attitudes proven to help couples make long term relationships work

OBJECTIVES

  1. Discuss how younger generations conceptualize relationships today

OUTLINE

  • Discuss how younger generations conceptualize relationships today
    • They are in committed relationships, but not necessarily married
    • They are more comfortable having sexual encounters that are usually free of emotional attachment
    • The younger generation is waiting later to get married, usually as a way to guard against early divorce. This is especially true among women
    • Women are having children earlier in their marriages
  • Explain the trends in relationship satisfaction over the past three decades
    • Kids drive marital satisfaction down by driving couples apart and creating more conflict
    • There is a higher level of education amongst today’s couples and more individual fulfillment for women.
    • There is more polyamory today as part of the “hookup culture,” and an imbalance of security with this from one partner
    • Women are relying less on wife and child-rearing roles in order to achieve happiness
  • Identify the byproducts of open relationships or those based on sex alone
    • Partners in an open relationship often feature a dynamic where one partner is a willing participant and the other keeps up a façade in order to please the willing partner
    • Noncommittal relationships are partially based on issues with attachment; in contemporary relationships among younger generations, parents’ divorce may play a role
    • Even relationships labeled purely sexual/free of emotional commitment contain degrees of attachment. The brain chemical oxytocin is released even during non-sexual physical touch.
Copyright : 05/26/2015