Full Course Description


Love and Intimacy in Modern Relationships

Program Information

Objectives

  1. Assess the motivations behind affairs and their possible meanings in different client relationships to inform the clinician’s choice of treatment interventions.
  2. Determine the cost and benefits of truth telling and transparency among couples where at least one has been emotional or physically unfaithful.
  3. Analyze the societal changes such as intimacy, and sexuality, that enter the consultation room and its clinical implications among couples.
  4. Determine clinical strategies to use with the couples’ children when communicating the outcome or process of the parents’ relationship.

Outline

The History of Relationships

  • Past Traditional Roles vs. Today’s Roles
  • The Social Hierarchies
Conversations at the Core of Relationships
  • The Meaning behind Language - Historical vs. Today’s
Sexuality
  • Today’s Purpose of Sex
  • Audio Demonstration
The Meaning of Monogamy
  • Audio Demonstration
The Negative Effects of Patriarchy on Relationships
  • Male Sexuality Insecurities
  • The Fine Line between Power and Violence during Sex
  • The Rapid Change in Relationships

Taking the Time to Listen in the Consultation Room

Copyright : 03/24/2018

Learning from Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity & Pathways to Intimacy

Program Information

Objectives

  1. Assess the motivations behind affairs and their possible meanings in different client relationships to inform the clinician’s choice of treatment interventions.
  2. Determine the cost and benefits of truth telling and transparency among couples where at least one has been emotional or physically unfaithful.
  3. Analyze the societal changes such as intimacy, and sexuality, that enter the consultation room and its clinical implications among couples.
  4. Determine clinical strategies to use with the couples’ children when communicating the outcome or process of the parents’ relationship.

Outline

The Fear and Fascination With Affairs

  • Historically condemned yet universally practiced.
  • What about cheating is so compelling?
Marriage, Sex, Intimacy, and Monogamy: A Brief Historical Overview
  • Marriage - from economic unit to romantic enterprise.
  • The romantic ideal.
  • The enshrinement of intimacy.
  • The sexualization of love: beyond sex for reproduction and woman’s marital duty (in the west).
  • The shift from sexual duty to sexual rights and sexual desire and pleasure.
  • Sustaining
  • The New Norm: Reconciling the domestic and the erotic in one relationship
  • Sexual satisfaction
  • The emotional and erotic challenges of the egalitarian couple.
Infidelity and Monogamy: Yesterday and Today
  • Monogamy - from patriarchy and lineage to a conviction of love.
  • Modern infidelity
  • The ideal of monogamy vs. the reality of infidelity.
  • From sin to betrayal, from fornication to sex.
  • The male double standard and gender differences around infidelity.
  • Gender-shifts: The double standard and the rise of female infidelity.
The Therapeutic Culture of Infidelity | Affairs
  • A symptom of problems in the couple.
  • Language of moral condemnation, vilification, or pathologizing, “Perpetrator/ Victim”.
  • Longstanding pathologies or childhood wounds
  • Belief in the redemptive power of confession and full disclosure of infidelity.
  • Rebuilding trust and intimacy
  • Affairs described as the story of a couple rather than the story of a triangle.
  • Lack of differentiation between the concepts of loyalty, fidelity and sexual exclusivity.
A Dual Perspective to Infidelity
  • Affair assumptions vs. reality
  • Rethinking loyalty and faithfulness.
  • Bringing to infidelity a dual perspective of hurt and betrayal on one side and growth and expansion on the other.
  • Secrets: A matter of autonomy as well as power over?
Rethinking Fidelity
  • Mapping the differentiation between concepts of fidelity and exclusiveness.
  • Defining fidelity as a relational constancy, a pact of emotional commitment, respect and loyalty, which can or not include sexual exclusivity.
Ethical and Existential Questions
  • Why does sexual betrayal hurt so much? How is it different from emotional betrayal?
  • Is faithfulness synonymous with sexual exclusivity?
  • Is faithfulness a virtue, a need for security, for propriety, a quest for comfort?
  • Is infidelity weakness and cowardice, or boldness and courage?
  • Can lying be a form of protection?
  • In the presence of multiple emotional betrayals - neglect, indifference, contempt, humiliation, abusiveness - is fidelity a virtue or weakness?
  • What is the relation between: Truth and Protection, Growth and Betrayal, Transparency, Privacy, and Secrecy, Loyalty and Faithfulness?
  • Is there a difference when the external relationship is emotional versus sexual?
  • Is jealousy a feeling we can/should transcend?
  • Is love in its essence monogamous?
  • Is the notion of property the enemy of love?
  • Is possessiveness an archaic remainder of patriarchy or is it fundamental to love?
  • Does the unfaithful have a right to remain silent?
  • What is the moral question about virtual infidelities? What is the morality of imagination?
  • Is chatting cheating?
Clinical Questions
  • Should we push for revelation? Is it essential to restoration?
  • What to do when we are told a secret the other partner doesn’t know?
  • Can we help a relationship while there’s a hidden affair?
  • How to discuss the topic of monogamy in the context of therapy?
  • Secrets: A matter of autonomy or power over?
  • Who decides whether internet activity is "infidelity"--the actor? The outraged spouse? The therapist?
Sex and Love Online
  • Romantic seductiveness of cyberspace
  • The egalitarianism of cyberspace: sexual appearance, age, gender, race and relations are scarcely relevant online.
Meanings and Motives of Affairs
  • General circumstances: life cycle, personal history, relational vulnerability, institutional pressures, existential dilemmas, gender influences, sexual orientation.
  • Affairs are less about sex and more about desire.
  • Reaction to other problems of life (loss of job, parent illness, loneliness, erotic alienation).
  • To gratify a paraphilic longing.
  • To experience same sex experience.
  • Sexual compulsivity.
  • Women seeking to re-experience themselves as sexual beings after kids.
  • A response to the feeling of insecurity about one’s sense of masculinity and femininity.
  • Secrets are a pathway to autonomy, for in secrets we activate our own will, free from the pleasing and caretaking.
  • Balance and stabilize the relation; an affair in order to preserve the marriage.
Affairs are Powered by Longing and Loss
  • The quest for a new self - reconnecting with lost parts of oneself.
  • Affairs often happen on the heels of death or a loss. Their intensity pushes back the imminence of death. Affairs as an antidote to death.
  • A response to long-standing sexual frustration.
  • A quest for aliveness and adventure.
  • A desire to experience lives not lived.
  • A quest for emotional connection.
Bad Marriages/Good Affairs
  • To stir jealousy and get our partner interested in us again.
  • To empower oneself and escape oppression and abuse.
  • As an act of revenge.
Role of the Therapist
  • Awareness of our own values, beliefs, and assumptions about infidelity and monogamy
  • Our personal history and experience with infidelity
  • Infidelity’s Triggers
  • Identifying with the unfaithful highlights the values of growth and autonomy
  • Identifying with the betrayed highlights loss of trust and betrayal.
The Politics and Secrets of Revelation
  • Cost and Benefits of Truth Telling and Transparency:
    • Positive effects of revelation
    • Positive effects of secrets
    • Open Secret Policy
    • Telling and Hearing
    • Sexual honesty
    • Restoring intimacy
    • The discovery of an affair
Privacy
  • Privacy - a functional boundary.

Copyright : 05/24/2018

How to Work on Sex and Intimacy with Men

Program Information

Objectives

  1. Utilize strategies to help men share their sexual attitudes and values within the therapeutic setting.

Outline

  • Intro to conversation
  • Identifying unique aspects of working with male clients and sexuality
  • Discussion of specific strategies therapists can use within the clinical setting
  • Summary of Conversation

Copyright : 04/12/2012

BONUS: Therapy and the Promise of Transformation: How Do We See Our Role?

Program Information

Objectives

  1. Articulate the clinical implications of isolation and polarization in clients as it relates to psychoeducation.
  2. Determine how counselor ambitions influences the therapeutic relationship and identify monitoring strategies to minimize the potential impact on the client.

Outline

Transformation in Psychotherapy

Question, Reflection and Audience Conversation

Transformation Defined in Different Ways

  • Interpersonal Change
  • Monitoring Your Ambitions with Your Client
  • Collaboration between Society and Psychotherapy
The Individual Adapting to Problematic Situations
  • Influencing the Larger Culture
  • Using Therapy Outside of the Office
    • Working within Communities
The Public Health Concerns of Isolation
  • Getting to Know Other
  • Change as Relational
  • Accessing Resources to Help Therapy

Question, Reflection and Audience Conversation

The Downfalls of Polarizing Oneself from Society

Benefits Interacting with Differing Viewpoints

Change, Trust, and Risks

  • Being Ok with Being Uncomfortable

Copyright : 03/23/2018