The Role of Reflective Function in Repair Work with Couples Part 1 + 2


Conflict and regrettable incidents are the driving force for couples seeking couples therapy. Couples are tired of constant fighting and they often present when distressing events have fractured their relationship. Such distressing events include (but are not limited to) breaches of trust, incidents of secrecy, and situational violence. As therapists, we want to help couples process these disruptive events and there are many existing processes and interventions that we can apply to do this. 

But how do we know if these have worked or not? And what are our measures for success?  

It is through the prism of reflective functioning that we can tell if resolution has been achieved or not. 

Integrating contemporary attachment theory with research-based couples therapy, this seminar will introduce markers of reflective functioning that therapists can encourage clients to achieve and which will be a measure of resolution of regrettable incidents. These include: 

  1. Awareness of change in thinking over time 
  2. Awareness of others thinking differently 
  3. Awareness of change as a function of development 
  4. Awareness of shared & reciprocal responsibility 
  5. Acceptance of imperfection 
  6. Awareness of differences in behavior with different people 
  7. Awareness of complex causation 
  8. Awareness of mixed feelings 
  9. Interactive effects, shared responsibility for outcomes 
  10. Appearance vs reality