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To Be Loved

A Story of Truth, Trauma, and Transformation

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Frank Anderson, MD
Publication Date:
May 07, 2024
Bridge City Books
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“Leading trauma expert Frank Anderson gifts us with an intimate and vulnerable glimpse into his personal journey of self-discovery to overcome his own childhood trauma. To Be Loved is a beautifully written and empowering story of resilience, healing, and forgiveness that offers hope for all survivors of childhood trauma.”
- Nicole LePera, PhD, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller How to Be the Love You Seek and How to Do the Work

To Be Loved captures the precious fragility of a childhood impacted in equal measure by authentic love and deep dysfunction. Filled with humor, empathy, and candid self-reflection, Frank’s story demonstrates the power of love to heal trauma, develop resilience, and ultimately find forgiveness and restoration.”
- Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestseller author, TED speaker, co-host of the popular Dear Therapists podcast, and “Dear Therapist” columnist for The Atlantic

“A heartbreaking, yet remarkable story of transcending childhood trauma. Through Dr. Anderson’s vulnerable exploration of his past, we can all learn how to find forgiveness and become more compassionate and loving caregivers. An inspiring, must-read memoir for anyone who has experienced childhood trauma or has a loved one who has suffered through this ordeal.”
- Shefali Tsabary, PhD, clinical psychologist and New York Times bestselling author of The Conscious Parent

Rarely does a trauma therapist disclose their own trauma history … yet it’s the untold, brutally honest, incredibly heartbreaking story of Dr. Frank Anderson that made him the world-renowned trauma expert he is today.

Known for his magnetic and radiant personality, Frank spends his time training thousands of clinicians around the world on how to help clients with complex trauma make sense of their suffering. But underneath this charismatic exterior are his dark family secrets, including the marks of child abuse from his father and the invisible scars of shame.

His colleagues and fellow therapists would never know this …. until now.

In To Be Loved, Frank shares his confusing experience of growing up an outsider in a typical midwestern Italian American home that was at one turn fiercely loving but at the same time unaccepting, abusive, and rife with secrets.

After enduring six years of therapy as a child in the 1970s, he was programmed to be something that he wasn’t for decades, and he became driven to create the perfect life – complete with a family, a successful career, and a house with a white picket fence in the suburbs – until it all fell apart.

It was only then that he realized resilience, forgiveness, and facing his trauma were the keys to living an authentic life – and finally knowing what it feels like to be loved.



Frank Anderson, MD's Profile

Frank Anderson, MD Related seminars and products

Frank Anderson, MD, completed his residency and was a clinical instructor in psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He is both a psychiatrist and psychotherapist. He specializes in the treatment of trauma and dissociation and is passionate about teaching brain-based psychotherapy and integrating current neuroscience knowledge with the IFS model of therapy.

Dr. Anderson is a lead trainer at the IFS Institute with Richard Schwartz and maintains a long affiliation with, and trains for, Bessel van der Kolk’s Trauma Center. He serves as an advisor to the International Association of Trauma Professionals (IATP) and was the former chair and director of the Foundation for Self-Leadership.

Dr. Anderson has lectured extensively on the Neurobiology of PTSD and Dissociation and wrote the chapter “Who’s Taking What” Connecting Neuroscience, Psychopharmacology and Internal Family Systems for Trauma in Internal Family Systems Therapy – New Dimensions. He co-authored a chapter on What IFS Brings to Trauma Treatment in Innovations and Elaborations in Internal Family Systems Therapy, and recently co-authored Internal Family Systems Skills Training Manual.

His most recent book, entitled Transcending Trauma: Healing Complex PTSD with Internal Family Systems was released on May 19, 2021.

His memoir, To Be Loved, is set to be released on May 7, 2024.


Speaker Disclosures:
Financial: Dr. Frank Anderson maintains a private practice. He is the Executive Director of the Foundation for Self Leadership and has employment relationships with The Trauma Center and The Center for Self Leadership. Dr. Anderson receives royalties as a published author. He receives a speaking honorarium, recording, and book royalties from PESI, Inc. He has no relevant financial relationships with ineligible organizations.
Non-financial: Dr. Frank Anderson is a member of the New England Society Studying Trauma and Dissociation and the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation.


“Leading trauma expert Frank Anderson gifts us with an intimate and vulnerable glimpse into his personal journey of self-discovery to overcome his own childhood trauma. To Be Loved is a beautifully written and empowering story of resilience, healing, and forgiveness that offers hope for all survivors of childhood trauma.”
- Dr. Nicole LePera, author of the #1 New York Timesbestseller How to Do the Work

“In a world where trauma experts can appear flawless, Dr. Frank Anderson’s To Be Loved is a breath of fresh air and a testament to the power of authenticity. Dr. Anderson doesn’t just preach about trauma healing; he lives it. His profound belief in ‘trauma blocks love, and love heals trauma’ isn’t just a catchphrase; it’s a philosophy he embodies, inspiring us all to approach healing trauma with authenticity and love.”
- Mastin Kipp, bestselling author, speaker and Creator of Functional Life Coaching

“Frank Anderson has woven the stories of his life into a book that will both enthrall and uplift you. He writes with wisdom and compassion about the roller coaster of being human, and the result is a vivid picture of how healing and growth actually happen.”
- Robert Waldinger, MD, author, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development


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